on on on on !

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers Run 2195

From Desktop

RUN NO: 2195
WHEN:03rd Nov 10
HARES:BIG BUM 016-7721448/NO CONDOM 019-7309200
HOW: Take Pasir Gudang Highway, exit at Seri Alam.Keep left and follow the road towards Octville Golf Club.Look for HHH signs.

It was fortunate that part of our romping grounds at Seri Alam with those decades-old abandoned rubber leading to the quarry has been literally unmolested by those rampaging bulldozers. This was where today's run started. Big Bum n No
Condom orchestrated the run with the help of foreign "talent" from Kulai hash who boasted of "giving hell to these JB bastards and see what they are made of". We welcomed back two ex-JB hashers, the towering King Kong and Ah Pooi whom many will remember his unconventional spitting prowess.

As usual the "antelopes" began to race away like the monsoon wind when the on on call was sounded. The trail led to the open quarry area with its ominous-looking mining pool, across some rocky terrain and into the rubber beyond where the tough segment awaited us. Marshes, hills and more hills, series of zigzags, mosquitoes, creepy crawlies and what have you. The SCBs were split into several sub-groups, each endeavouring to find their own way home. These days as more members join the rank of L.K.K. ( Lau Kok Kok ) and weak knees have taken over, the magic word is "short-cut." It has become the weekly norm. Some smart alecs have realized that they have under-utilized their intellect. They have ceased to be followers and undertake to lead others home by a different route. Needless to say, the quarry area is familiar to most of us and every Ahmad, Ah Chong and Muthu knows his or her way around.

First runners were back at around 7.00pm. Not a very long run, contrary to what the Kulai cohares promised to dish out. What an anticlimax I may add. The hares offered us mee siam to keep the hunger pangs at bay temporarily. Iron Man found an innovative way of ensuring the proper separation of trash. Three garbage bins placed side by side and marked "aluminium," "plastic" and the"rest." Yet inspite of this, one or two bongkangs still disposed of their trash into the wrong bin. Grow up man! You are a disgrace! Flintstone presided over the circle in the absence of Ice Cream who was away in Indonesia reporting on the eruption of Mt. Merapi. A few newcomers from Kulai together with King King and Ah Pooi were introduced to the crowd. Those put on ice for their misdemeanour were fucked, screwed and cut down to size to the accompaniment of hash tunes from Screwdriver James.

A sizable crowd descended on Foo Too restaurant for the on on. The dishes ordered were great stuff together with two
bottles of Carlsberg on the hares. The food was somewhat different from the normal Wednesday fare. Camaraderie was evident amongst members. Thus ended another great hashing evening. Kam Sia banyak banyak to Big Bum and No Condom. Next wednesday you guys and gals better come for our run, or else................... he he he.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers Run 2194

RUN NO: 2194
WHEN: 27th Oct 2010
HARES: MEAN SEE 016-7160414/SON OF A GUN 019-7714902
HOW: Take Kota Tinggi Road, after Taman Gaya turn left into Taman Pelangi Indah.Go all the way straight & look for HHH signs.

JBHHH RUN No. 2193 (20-10-2010)
老夫子-花蟹-横爬 直不老山庄
This must be the duo’s virgin hymen-tear; and of all places they must choose the over-trodden, over-developed limited terrain of DESA TEBRAU! And why do they need such an army of co-hares to lay this fractious run? Or perhaps it was the multitude of co-hares that fragmented the run! The co-hares were of course the abovementioned pair’s cronies, headed by FLINTSTONE-火石 with the tagging gang of coolies comprising FALLEN BUMPER-掉保杆, ASSHOLE DAVID-大维肛门 & PANG SHIT-ARSE-放屎彭. It was an obvious case of too many cooks!
As the usual crowd of about a hundred congregated religiously for our weekly ritual, the Hares were visibly delighted that so many have turned up to grace their deflowering! The RUN started with an innocent hop across the dry drain near the quarry area on the right of the play-ground; how many checks there were defies the memory of this scribe; for, as usual I was walking and chatting with the geriatric group led by our patriarch Tongkat Ali-冻结阿里 and missed out all the main action. Suffice it to say that the run disintegrated very early into more than ten trails! This is our Hash’s disease! Even before the First Check, the SCBs, the lau-cha-bors, the walkers and the chatters all went their separate ways to chart out their own little trails! This phenomenon has now become a less-than-proud character of our hash! In any case the Hares did their best to shape a run, but it was the members who didn’t give them a chance; or perhaps it is also due to the familiarity of this oft-trodden area that breeds boredom. Only the likes of CCB-细细鼻, Anti-Climax-反高潮 and One Night Stand-一晚硬 endeavoured to give credit to the Hares’ effort; the rest shall have no bloody right to comment! Lao-Chee-老妓 was quite frustrated that his evening was spoilt by the swarm of SCBs leading him astray with all the red herrings! This normally-congenial bloke was overheard muttering some unintelligible Hakka expletives as he approached the beer-wagon! The Hare however made amends by providing the famish flock with a vast array of victuals which has become synonymous with our Hash; in fact I suspect some of our members actually look forward to this weekly feast instead of coming for the run!
CIRCLE started off with the usual boring rendition of our adopted anthem, SWING-LOW and was followed by the warbling of a few hash hymns. Tell me what’s new? In the absence our Whip (again!), HANDSOME LAW-寒酸佬 has to stand in as the stand-up comic; in fact I think he performed better than the original! The bulk of the offences centred on the misdeeds and the misdemeanours of the weekend’s D & D which everyone concluded, was a job well done, albeit with the typical hash hiccups; Bravo JUICY-多汁娘 and your team!
The ON-On was at this new eatery- Ming Sing-明心 in MOLEK, beside EON Bank. The grub was quite delectable and there were copious amounts of Carlsberg to wash down the cholesterol! Thanks guys, hope you can lay a better run next year; perhaps you can fare better if you sack your main-con Flintstone! Ha! On-On

SON OF A GAN-颜罗王之子

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers Run 2193

RUN NO: 2193
WHEN: 20th Oct 2010
HARES: LAO FU TZE 012-7078445/FLOWER CRAB 012-7090002
HOW: Take J.B. – Kota Tinggi Road. After Taman Johor Jaya, take the exit on your left into Taman Desa Tebrau.Look for HHH signs.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers Dinner & Dance

JBHHH 2010 Dinner & Dance
Theme : Wild, Wild, West
OC’s : Juicy Kan 016-7731900 , Bulldog 019-7774480 & Mongol
Date : 16th October 2010
Venue : Grand Paragon Hotel
Members : RM100-00
Guests : RM300-00 per barrel (2 tickets)

D&D 2009

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers Run 2192

RUN NO: 2190

WHEN: 29th Sept 10

HARES: SAFETY BOOTS 019-7531371 & HAMPER KING 012-7080230

HOW: Take North-South Highway,before Kempas toll turn left into Kempas Road.Drive on and
turn at the junction to Taman Impian Emas/Southern College, look for HHH
signs.Alternatively from Skudai old road turn right into Kempas.

JB HHH RUN No. 2192 (13-10-2010)

Once again it is IMPIAN EMAS! This terrain is like an over-ravished whore where every chapter lays and plays! The turnout was phenomenal even by our standards! Many must have heard of the great hospitality of the Hares (HAMPER KING and SAFETY BOOTS) and many mercenary supporters turned up to throng the road from end to end! I hope the quality of generosity is not strained! The architects of the run were the Soh siblings, BULLDOZER and SOH-ARSE and they cleverly ‘designed’ a trail on the north-eastern sector instead of the usual romp in the palm-territory behind the Hindu kovils; this in fact was an area which we used to roam before development encroached into our hashing habitat.
The RUN was a long affair traversing both sides of the rails and reaching the nether regions of the Kempas farms; but unfortunately the bulk of the FROPs, including our ever-eager fast-lady Wonder-woman wandered off-paper after the Second Check and somehow lost their bearing and aborted the run and came home rather disappointed and frustrated. The paper-adherents like See-Pay-Song and his wife Anti-Climax, Kapilan and So Big came back well after sundown! According to some of the ‘aborters’, some of the checkers didn’t connect the paper properly and sped off in haste to achieve some gold medals! This was indeed a typical affliction of kiasuism in JBHHH! This malady has become a weekly ill that has now attained disease-status; hope it will not spread like an epidemic! Some assholes, for fear of losing out to his competitors, checked in the same direction lest he is too far away when the connection is found! The resultant fiasco is that they will abandon trail if they lack the prowess to pursue or are not within the medal-range! In any case the guys who completed the arduous trail thoroughly enjoyed the great sweat-out. Back at the run-site the usual array of post-run finger-food was stuffed to the max! Some cynics said we need not go for the on-on!
CIRCLE started with the WHIP whipping himself in the most masochistic exercise of self-abuse! This long-winded bastard placed his own ass on the block for his self-confessed dereliction of duty! This kind of self-criticism sounds very Maoist! Where is from? Hunan Hash? Much hilarity was generated by the supporting cast of Handsome and LSB when they took over the circle to augment the lack of script from the prima donna. LSB sat the longest until his well-shaped sexy posterior became a shrivelled chunk of frozen meat in Carrefour! One by one, they lined up to pour more oil to the fire and pile on his sins! He didn’t know he had that many enemies! Circle-beer was generously sponsored by TERKO LIANG as a token of support; kamsiah Lao Hia-Tee! To add to the merriment and to increase the level of inebriation, the On-On beer at 63 was sponsored all-night-long by SO BIG on the occasion of his birthday! Many Happy Returns and a BIG HAND! And to lace the icing on the cake, the Hares declared the entire do FOC! KAMSIAH AGAIN! Hope to see Hamper King more often at the runs; the Southern Hash Institute of Technology (SHIT) discovered that hashing actually makes you taller! So you should come more often and buy us beer, we will definitely hoist you up taller than Yao Ming! CHEERS!
Lambda sigma beta

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers Run 2191

RUN NO: 2191

DATE: 06th Oct 2010

HARES :ONE NIGHT STAND 019-7782328 & SILVER FOX 016-7180159


HOW: Take Pasir Gudang Highway, exit at Seri Alam. Keep left and follow the road towards
Octville Golf Club. Look for HHH signs

Run No 2191 6th Oct 2010
Hares: One Night Stand and Silver Fox
Finally, its back to Seri Alam, a once favorite run site that many hashes used to frequent but somehow was wiped off the hash map recently. This runsite has the added recipe of the ginger tooth Foo Too Restarant boss who is so eager to do hash business that he customarily joins in the beer binging towards the later part of the night. Hooray, we are back here, and everybody was expecting a familiar trail at this fully trampled ground. Well, surprise lies ahead. The trail started toward the beaten trail at the end of the road. From there it veers right towards uncharted territories. It seems like a wild boar trail, climbing up down steep slopes, squeezing in between small trees, avoiding all the vines which are so eager to snag your ankles and looking out for the thorny vines waiting for the unsuspecting grip. The FRBs were very disappointing as there was no overtaking room, the top view of the run looked like an ant trail. First check was also in this bushy area. With the anxious FRBS spearheading in different directions, it was broken in no timel. Finally, we ended up in an open area at the quarry. Many would have known the short cut home by now but the die hards followed the paper trail which took them for another 2 km loop and finally back to the main road home. I would commend the hares and co hares of this ingenious set up, a good one hour run with lots of sweat but no tortuous long distance sprinting that induce more pain to the knees than produce sweat.
Our hash whip was again customary absent from the circle and without fail our Handsome will fill in the gap. The hares had written the following note ‘free two bottles of Carlsberg’ on some of the trail papers and they were put on ice to ensure that they honor the finders. I could remember bastards like Old Devil, Bulldozer and GM displaying their ‘find’ but rather than a grin , it was more a look of astonishment to the legality of the promise. Now boys , if you are offended with the names used, remember this, JBHHH has the break loose and be happy culture of calling all men ‘bastards’ and all women ‘Lau Char Boh’. If you cannot pass this acid test, then this is not the hash for you, join the Sunday mass at a local church. I am amazed that some hash chapters in JB actually restrict the use of some words, ‘mothers’ included. If they still cannot let the hair down during hashing, then they should hang in the ofiice with tie still wrapped around their neck.
ON ON ON at Foo Too was only six tables strong, this is down from our usual seven. Nothing to complain, quality is always better that quantity. Food was ample and as usual, there is this die hard table covered with Carlsberg bottles. As it gets later, there was still a reasonable size crowd. See what I meant by quality ? Okay, enough for now, I still have to sell hampers tomorrow. The say I cannot speak English, so I write powerful(powderful as we usually say in JBHHH) English to prove them wrong. Very soon, my hamper empire will be online in Facebook, Google will give me top ranking and Wikipedia will interview me .
Hamper King

Johor Bahru Hash Chapters

JB HHH - Wednesday – Mixed ; 6.00pm (Founded : January 1967) by A. Lammers.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM10-00 Contacts: Ice Cream Tel : 019-7711556.

TANJUNG PETRI HHH – Monday – Men ; 6.00pm (Founded : 9-11-1979)Beer : TIGER GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: Jaya Botak Tel : 019-7705007.

GUNUNG PULAI HHH – Tuesday – Men ; 6.00pm (Founded : 8-12-1998) by Koh Teng Chu.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: OKC GM Tel : 016-7120355.

JB HASH HOUSE HAZARDS – Thursday – Men; 6.00pm (Founded : 11-4-1996) by Simon Chan.Beer : TIGER GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: Lim Seng Bok Tel : 019-778 5577

KULAI HHH – Friday – Mixed ; 6.00pm (Founded : 2-3-1978) by Lam Chon Fa.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM10-00 Contact: Ikan Bilis +6019 778 9925.

KOJAK HASH - Run every 2nd Friday of the month Mixed :5.30pm (Founded : 14th Aug 2009)By Moh Man Tai . RM 20.Contact : Moh Man Tai Tel : 012-7103306

JCSC HHH - Run every last Friday of the month – Mixed ; 6.00pm (Founded : 28-12-2007) .Beer : Tiger. GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: Bernard Tel : 016-7233330.

JB BICYCLE HASH - Friday -Mixed .5.30pm.Founded GM Lee Fook Heng ,Contact : Mongol Yap Tel : +6016 723 1331.

JB CITY HASH – Saturday – Mixed ; 5.30pm (Founded : 1-1-1994)by K.Y. Teh.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM15-00 Contacts:Disco Singh Tel : 012-700 2868

KOTA TINGGI HHH – Sunday - Mixed ; 5.30pm (Founded on 31-12-1990) by James Ooi.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM10-00 Contacts: KCB Tel : 019-770 4676.

SKUDAI HHH - Sunday- Mixed : 5:45pm. Guest Free : RM 10 .Contact : Double V 013-7754382.



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