JBH3

on on on on !

Monday, November 28, 2011

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers 2251

RUN NO: 2251
WHEN: 30th Nov 11
HARES: CAPTAIN TAN 012-7040747/SUSAN TAN 019-7727888
WHERE: JP PERDANA
HOW: Take Tebrau-Kota Tinggi Road, turn left to Taman Mount Austin. Go straight all the way till you reach JP Perdana. Look for HHH signs.

Hare : Kapitan Tan & Susan
Date :30/11/11
Runsite :Tmn.Perdana/Mt.Austin
Weather : Fine-No Rain
This is old ground was super familiar to all our JB Harriers and Harriets, there weren't
any grouses that they cannot find the place, except some dick heads took the wrong
turns!!!! . The Runsite / car park was along the uncompleted housing at the far end
corner of the Tmn. Today's Run , to me is a Rescue Run!!!, both the Hares weren't at the site, was told that they have escape to the America to avoid the Ice Sitting throne torture and the
all night serving services for the Hash Circle. Start of the run came to a dead end by
the construction workers quarters, as the papers trail couldn't be found. The rescue
hares came along for the correct path and off we went into the oil palms and very fast
the groups distergerate into FRB's,SCB's and Walk along .20 minutes in the trail, we
reach a hill, it was a good climb on the flight of stairs, upon reaching the top of it there
is a Chinese shrine, ran a round and all the way down hill, crossed many streams, in
and out of the oil plam trees. I came out in 1 hour's time, back to the construction site
, good run!!!.
Beer Wagon, as usual was serving cold beer,mineral waters,100 puls. Popiah were available
as EXTRAS! Cirle was called by Ice Cream with the Swing Low song. The Rescue Hares were summoned to the Ice Sitting throne torture for the good deeds they have done for the day's run. In the open floor, Flinstone gave the Big ANNOUNCMENTS of the weekend's JB DINNER AND
DANCE and the list of duties rooster to members for the night.The night cirlce was closed
early, maybe the Resuce Hares was doing a very job. We head to the Kedai Makan in Tmn.
Daya just next to the round about, Guniness stout draft was already waitng for us, Jag you
deserved a hug. Well , some opt for the good old Calsberg beers. For the night's Food we
have the following:-
1. Bean Cake with minced meat served with tasty gravy.
2. Steamed cooked Chicken
3. Bitter gourd fried with black peas and pork ribs.
4. Curry Fish head in mixed vegetables
5. Eggs with green vegetables
6. Deep fried pork.
The makan was over very fast, Ice Cream confrimed the RM 10.00/head for the dinner,
and the night collections will be a Donation from the Day's hares for the JBHHH club,
Thank you to the Kapitan. We continued drinking and singing of hash songs of the past
era, the crowd was so joyous..... thru out the night.
I adious at 10.30 pm. Should You weren't there you missed the Wednesday's night fun,
see you there next and coming weeks.
Fastrack

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers Run 2250

RUN NO: 2250
WHEN: 23rd Nov 11
HARES: DEEPAVALI RUN(MONGOL YAP/JOCKEY)
WHERE: ULU TIRAM WATER TANK
HOW: Take Tebrau-Kota Tinggi road, turn left to Ulu Tiram town. Travel for about 2km, before the football field search for HHH signs & turn right. Go all the way straight till the end

JBHHH RUN # 2250 (23-11-2011)- Scribe No : 1
A CHINAMAN’S DEEPAVALI RUN
MONGOL YAP has been dubbed MONGOSAMY in order to make him eligible for the unenviable job of being the OC for this Hindraf festivity. The run-site was at the TIRAM WATER-TOWER and due floods at Desa Cemerlang creating a massive traffic snarl only a small crowd managed to squeeze through; and so the run started with a very diluted pack with very diluted quality of runners and checkers! A large tent was put up in anticipation of the on-site kenduri. The run started rather ominously with a perilous descent at the back corner of the water-tower and as we plummeted to the palms the paper brought us to the edge of the Tiram Estate main road. The handful of FROPs led by ASSASSIN HENG, IRONMAN, SEE-PAY-SONG, ANTI-CLIMAX, ONE NIGHT STAND, FLINTSTONE and LAO-CHEE sped off after the manager’s mansion and were never seen or heard. The first check was broken rather fast. This stranded One Night Stand who was left standing at the check bewildered and not knowing where to go! He claimed that the FROPs didn’t hail the on-call and didn’t connect; and so this regular front-runner became the leader of the SCB-pack which included the GM and the GPS-wielding
Money Khoo. The FROPs diverged from the check and went beyond the estate-lines and paused at the Second Check near a three-prong junction. This was where the snafu occurred; all the checkers drew a blank and embarked on a free-for-all to grope their respective way back. The paucity of paper and the paucity of checkers aggravated the situation. LAO-CHEE later claimed
that he found the connecting trail and he was the only bloke to have completed the run, much to the skepticism of the other frontrunning bastards! All said and done the run was a classified fiasco!
Back at the run-site the festivities were in full swing; it was slightly more successful than the failed trail! The finger-licking fried chicken was a popular post-run bite; together with a tin of muruku it was sure to give us a proper sore-throat! The girls helped to dole out a pair of pants; but Handsome complained that the apparel was unable to be properly buckled and his little bird kept flying out! The post-run atmosphere was like a haphazard party with the crowd all lazing within the shade of the tent. When the GM convened the Circle these coffee-shop chatters slowly and reluctantly moved their asses to the open. The cool evening was in fact perfect for circle and soon after the sing-song the GM called the OC and his co-hares as well as the Hindraf community for a general on-down. Zoo’s friend (a human not an animal!) went for the handshake-round and rattled off five names in a breath and was declared too smart to join the Hash! Whip HANDSOME was in top form and he was very sharp to catch the
offenders; COCA COLA pilloried the newcomer for belittling Hash and she ranted on with a tirade in Mandarin which was vocal and articulate and to the point! Maybe we should make her the next whip! The GM extended the Circle to well over 2120hr. Poor girl Kimchi was again singled out for ice; this ‘Sar-Tar-Chieh’ seems to be a victim of her own folly every week! Give her break! The GM rounded proceedings with a few quick prosecutions of her own. The on-site buffet was very filling indeed; but sad to say the Festival of Lights turned out to be a dim affair when the lamps dangling on the tent were only for decorative purposes! We had to make do with FLINTSTONE’s emergency illumination which he only used for his nefarious pursuits!
Thanks for the great sacrifice! NANDRI TO ALL OUR HINDU FRIENDS AND A BELATED HAPPY DEEPAVALI!

KAPITAN DAN KAPITANA

Scribe No : 2
The actual Deepavali festival has long past behind us and hashers were looking forward to the Christmas run. According to the hares, Mongol and Jockey, they have to dragged it until now was because of the Bandung’s Pan Asia. So in true JBHHH spirits, Deepavali was celebrated like it was its eve at the run site of Ulu Tiram Water Tank. Never mind the massive jam due to a not
so Thailand style great flood near Desa Cermerlang, many still made it there by road, by air or by sea not because they wanted desperately to celebrate with their Hindu’s hashers the festival but because they already paid the damage and will not want to lose it.
The traffic jam does have its effect as fewer than 30 made it to start the run on the rain soaked ground and cool fresh air. Trail was laid with limited JBBH papers like it was a ‘save the earth paperless day’. Replacing it were stripped circular papers and disfigured trail papers from other chapter. So to conserve paper, first check was nowhere to be broke until about 1.5km away
where on! on! shout could not be heard and leaving those behind either to wandered or turning back. At second check, it was like end of the world as continue papers trail just vanished in the thin air or got washed away by the earlier downpour. So even the fast runners have to find their way back until a continuing trail suddenly reappeared. All was over before dark in about 5 km of a supposedly 7 km run.
Canopies at run site were put up to prepare for a grand Deepavali reception where porridge and fried chicken were first served with Muluku as appetizer and Turle jelly! Or gui ling gao as dessert. Daylight started to turn dark, so do inside the canopies, and the festival of light is going to be celebrated without light, blaming the traffic jam again. Thanks Flintstone and friends who came to the rescue with their emergency spot lights.
Circle started later and among those put on ice were the hare that were censored for things such as the trail papers, the unlit canopies and the ‘non matching velcro’ on the shorts pocket. A big mouth guest was put on ice for saying something daring to the wrong person, Cola. Bull dog took the floor to ice the backside of those bastards returning from Bandung with many stories to tell except ‘lao sai’. Circle did not forget to wish Indomie, Maharajah, Kanasai, Pai ma and friends a very happy Deepavali. Circle ended and reception started with great Indian food buffet and satay. Delicious but too abundance, so ended up ‘ta pao’ home by Lao Cha Bo’s. Bo Chia Lan and his beer bastards also stay back to finish up the beer as unlike the food, beer can only
be ‘ta pao’ in their tummies. Depavali run ended and all left living behind the canopies, chair and tables and looking forward to the next great event, the JBHHH DND where the ‘Ugly’ Flintstone is the OC.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Monday, November 7, 2011

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers 2249

RUN NO: 2249
WHEN: 09th Nov 11
HARES: SON OF A GUN & MEAN SEE 016- 7160414(BIRTHDAY RUN)
SON OF A GUN & MEAN SEE(BIRTHDAY RUN)
WHERE: TAMAN PELANGI INDAH
HOW: Take Kota Tinggi Road, after Taman Gaya turn left and enter to Taman Pelangi Indah. Go straight & look for HHH signs.

Run No : 2249
Date : 16/11/11
Run-Site : Taman Pelangi Indah
Hares : Son Of A Gun & Mean See
It was a birthday celebration in a big scale for both lovely couple hares of Mean See and Son of the Gun at Pelangi Indah. Rain stopped just in time to prevent many from making excuses for not running.
Hot topic before run start was ‘Lao Sai” or diarrhea with about 70% of those who went to Bandung Pan Asia suffered from it. They were confirmed as cheapskate because they only take roadside foods and drinks. Cola came back and lost a few kgs in her body weight except her busts, don’t know why. The other group did not reach home until late in the night that day.
Running trail was not long but needed to crawl up and down through thick undergrowth around rubber trees and the thorny rattan creepers. 2 checks and once your body started to warm the run ended before dark.
Maybe the hares needed longer time for their birthday’s festival at circle and On On.
Free beer all round at circle, and as expected, the Bandung ‘lao Sai’ hashers were put on ice to cure their back side. Other got on ice were Big potato for being non starter and came on a taxi upon learning of the free beer at circle and So Big for acting like a Dato’ by wearing a, again Bandung’ Batik shirt.
On! On! or rather the Grand Birthday celebration was held nearby at restaurant Fu Man Lou. 5 tables and moods were as always ‘High’ especially free beer again, thrown by the birthday’s hare. Good foods and loud noises ruled the whole night until 11 pm after f.o.c was announced and birthday song sang and thanks the almost drunk Song of the Gun. Mean See remained sober as she was needed to settle the bill later.
Jockey & Mongol

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers 2248

RUN NO: 2248
WHEN: 09th Nov 11
HARES: SHORT COCK 016-7722040/DISCO SINGH 012-7002868(co-hare LONGCOCK)
WHERE: TAMAN PULAI JAYA
HOW: Take J.B. – K.L road, after Skudai turn left into Pontian Road. Go past the junction into
Kangkar Pulai & lookout for HHH signs to turn right at the next traffic light.

Run No : 2248
Date : 09/11/11
Hares : Short Cock & Disco Singh
Run-site : Taman Pulai Jaya
Dear On Sex,
Today run-site for run 2248, very far, Pulai Jaya and the hare are Short Cock & Disco.
Just came back from honeymoon with my dear, so very tired. Sure cannot run, so
Will try to give you a brief encounter. Turn out not too good. Too far……………….
Weather was kind to our hares. Arrived at run-site, Short Cock was busy checking in.
Those going to Bandung was busy asking for details. Two group leaders – Bulldog and
Itchy Kang was seen busy telling their group what to expect and things to do. Itchy Kang’s
will be leaving on Thursday and Bulldog on Friday.
Run starts at 6pm with Disco assurance of a short run. First runner arrived back at about
7.15pm. Wonder woman was very pleased with the run. GOOD RUN.
Nasi Lemak, Mee Siam and curry puff were served…………………
Circle as per normal. Hares are on ice and some good doers too.
Till my run next week. Good night.
Mean See

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers 2247

Run No : 2247
Date : 02/11/11
Hares : Three Star & Zoo
Run-site : Ulu Tiram/Kota Tinggi Rd. 14m/s
Nanu-Nanu, this is Short cock & Disco Singh reporting back to Mother Ship, The Mother Fucker from planet earth at its equator, GPS P. 1.621442,103.81 6579, in a place the earthling called Ulu Tiram.
Here I observed a group of earthlings¡¯ of Homo sapiens species about to practice some sort of a sectarian religious ceremony. I later learned that the sect (chapter in their language) is called JBHHH in short and today ceremony (known as run no 2247) will be led by a Three Star general and a Zoo keeper they called Hares. Their role is to set a religious trail with paper marking whereby its followers will run, walk and crawl following it, probably seeking some sort of spiritual enlightenment.
Ceremony started with a group of ape descendents creatures warming up by kicking aimlessly a rattan ball which they said represent the Sun God they worshipped. They must kick it (hands not allowed) to prevent it from falling on the ground and failure means they will face the wrath of the Sun God.
Others creature, mostly female species, recognized by looking at the 2 lumps on their chest (some big and some almost flat) were seen busy registering followers who arrived in their ancient mode of transport with four rubber wheels and roaring loudly unlike the flying saucers we are used to at home. In total about 70 followers arrived and there were also guest from other sects/chapters.
At earth time 6.00 PM the hares shouted ON! ON! to announce the start of the paper chasing ceremony. The trail started by passing through a yet to complete flyover and there on passing through some ancient vegetation parks which includes a large track of land planted with a kind of herbal grass they called cow grass believed to have rich aphrodisiac value and according to some, it is most wanted by a few of its followers such as the 3 M¡¯s, Mongul and Moneycool and Mon Man Tai.
An interesting observation was the broken paper trail they called Checks, probably a point to gather its entire follower to pray by shouting ¡®Are You¡¯ and later On! On! for a save run ahead. After that, front runner followers such as Lao Chee and Siang Siang Mamuk will search to break the checks, 3 altogether with one back check, perhaps to penalize those who did not stop to do prayer. Distance of the whole trail was about 7 KM earth distance.
On returning from the paper chasing, followers were treated with foods and drinks provided by the hares. Among the food was a skinny worm liked substance wrapped in a leaf from a plant they called banana plant which bears fruit that looks like the Homo sapien male sex organ. A soft spongy thick skin wrapped with an unknown meat (still cannot confirm if all the sect followers are cannibal, although some followers such as Killer Heng and Long Cock already confirmed are). After that the followers cleaned themselves up with some kind of holy water they brought
with them in their ancient vehicles. Cannot understand why these creatures which just evolved from their ape¡¯s counterpart not long ago need to protect so closely their organs they called private especially among their female during the body cleansing process.
After the body cleansing, the followers proceeded to a ritual called Circle where they sit on low chair they brought in a circular formation. Just like any other religious ceremony, the ritual was started by a singing of their sect¡¯s anthem called Swing Low (very solemn indeed). Later their appointed female leader, The Grand Master called Ice cream presided over the ritual and put the hares to sit on ice in a ritual to honor them for making the night ceremony possible. Later the same ritual was used to penalize many members found to have broken their sectarian rules
officiated by an almost bald, short and walk with a limb gout infected Hash whip, they called him Handsome . (No whip was used though). There was an old white hair sect¡¯s monk who was also made to sit on ice for the unholy act of bringing with him two¡¯ too young for him¡¯ Tagalog speaking female guests. All offenders who were put on ice were forced to drink a urine like spirit to make them intoxicated after a religious hymn were sang on them. The circle ceremony ended with a song called Geylang. Before that those followers who were born in the same month
celebrate their birthday with a song and blowing candles planted on an excretion liked cake. What an unusual ritual indeed.
The ceremony did not end there; the sect¡¯s followers later proceeded in their ancient vehicles to a restaurant at Pelangi Indah nearby to enjoy a feast thrown by the hares to celebrate the successful completion of their paper chasing ritual early on. 3 bottles of the same spirit called Carlsberg were provide f.o.c. per table for the followers to get intoxicated which however were not enough, so they continue to buy from their own pockets to get into the
¡®High¡¯ feel they needed badly. Food served was not bad by any earthling standard. Both the Hares were sporting
enough to toast at almost all the tables, six tables in total. According to some, normally without their follower, Sex Can presents the songs Chai Chai Heng shouldn¡¯t be heard so often that night.
Finally the feast ended with many intoxicated followers left thanking the General and the Keeper for the free food and beers and later testing their driving skill on their ancient vehicles.
Nanu-Nanu, Short Cock & Disco Singh signing of for now and on our way in our flying saucer to my next assignment at a remote place called Pulai Jaya, also on this planet earth.

Johor Bahru Hash Chapters

JB HHH - Wednesday – Mixed ; 6.00pm (Founded : January 1967) by A. Lammers.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM10-00 Contacts: Ice Cream Tel : 019-7711556.



TANJUNG PETRI HHH – Monday – Men ; 6.00pm (Founded : 9-11-1979)Beer : TIGER GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: Jaya Botak Tel : 019-7705007.



GUNUNG PULAI HHH – Tuesday – Men ; 6.00pm (Founded : 8-12-1998) by Koh Teng Chu.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: OKC GM Tel : 016-7120355.



JB HASH HOUSE HAZARDS – Thursday – Men; 6.00pm (Founded : 11-4-1996) by Simon Chan.Beer : TIGER GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: Lim Seng Bok Tel : 019-778 5577



KULAI HHH – Friday – Mixed ; 6.00pm (Founded : 2-3-1978) by Lam Chon Fa.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM10-00 Contact: Ikan Bilis +6019 778 9925.



KOJAK HASH - Run every 2nd Friday of the month Mixed :5.30pm (Founded : 14th Aug 2009)By Moh Man Tai . RM 20.Contact : Moh Man Tai Tel : 012-7103306



JCSC HHH - Run every last Friday of the month – Mixed ; 6.00pm (Founded : 28-12-2007) .Beer : Tiger. GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: Bernard Tel : 016-7233330.



JB BICYCLE HASH - Friday -Mixed .5.30pm.Founded GM Lee Fook Heng ,Contact : Mongol Yap Tel : +6016 723 1331.



JB CITY HASH – Saturday – Mixed ; 5.30pm (Founded : 1-1-1994)by K.Y. Teh.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM15-00 Contacts:Disco Singh Tel : 012-700 2868



KOTA TINGGI HHH – Sunday - Mixed ; 5.30pm (Founded on 31-12-1990) by James Ooi.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM10-00 Contacts: KCB Tel : 019-770 4676.



SKUDAI HHH - Sunday- Mixed : 5:45pm. Guest Free : RM 10 .Contact : Double V 013-7754382.

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