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Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Johor Bahru Hash House Harriers 2247

Run No : 2247
Date : 02/11/11
Hares : Three Star & Zoo
Run-site : Ulu Tiram/Kota Tinggi Rd. 14m/s
Nanu-Nanu, this is Short cock & Disco Singh reporting back to Mother Ship, The Mother Fucker from planet earth at its equator, GPS P. 1.621442,103.81 6579, in a place the earthling called Ulu Tiram.
Here I observed a group of earthlings¡¯ of Homo sapiens species about to practice some sort of a sectarian religious ceremony. I later learned that the sect (chapter in their language) is called JBHHH in short and today ceremony (known as run no 2247) will be led by a Three Star general and a Zoo keeper they called Hares. Their role is to set a religious trail with paper marking whereby its followers will run, walk and crawl following it, probably seeking some sort of spiritual enlightenment.
Ceremony started with a group of ape descendents creatures warming up by kicking aimlessly a rattan ball which they said represent the Sun God they worshipped. They must kick it (hands not allowed) to prevent it from falling on the ground and failure means they will face the wrath of the Sun God.
Others creature, mostly female species, recognized by looking at the 2 lumps on their chest (some big and some almost flat) were seen busy registering followers who arrived in their ancient mode of transport with four rubber wheels and roaring loudly unlike the flying saucers we are used to at home. In total about 70 followers arrived and there were also guest from other sects/chapters.
At earth time 6.00 PM the hares shouted ON! ON! to announce the start of the paper chasing ceremony. The trail started by passing through a yet to complete flyover and there on passing through some ancient vegetation parks which includes a large track of land planted with a kind of herbal grass they called cow grass believed to have rich aphrodisiac value and according to some, it is most wanted by a few of its followers such as the 3 M¡¯s, Mongul and Moneycool and Mon Man Tai.
An interesting observation was the broken paper trail they called Checks, probably a point to gather its entire follower to pray by shouting ¡®Are You¡¯ and later On! On! for a save run ahead. After that, front runner followers such as Lao Chee and Siang Siang Mamuk will search to break the checks, 3 altogether with one back check, perhaps to penalize those who did not stop to do prayer. Distance of the whole trail was about 7 KM earth distance.
On returning from the paper chasing, followers were treated with foods and drinks provided by the hares. Among the food was a skinny worm liked substance wrapped in a leaf from a plant they called banana plant which bears fruit that looks like the Homo sapien male sex organ. A soft spongy thick skin wrapped with an unknown meat (still cannot confirm if all the sect followers are cannibal, although some followers such as Killer Heng and Long Cock already confirmed are). After that the followers cleaned themselves up with some kind of holy water they brought
with them in their ancient vehicles. Cannot understand why these creatures which just evolved from their ape¡¯s counterpart not long ago need to protect so closely their organs they called private especially among their female during the body cleansing process.
After the body cleansing, the followers proceeded to a ritual called Circle where they sit on low chair they brought in a circular formation. Just like any other religious ceremony, the ritual was started by a singing of their sect¡¯s anthem called Swing Low (very solemn indeed). Later their appointed female leader, The Grand Master called Ice cream presided over the ritual and put the hares to sit on ice in a ritual to honor them for making the night ceremony possible. Later the same ritual was used to penalize many members found to have broken their sectarian rules
officiated by an almost bald, short and walk with a limb gout infected Hash whip, they called him Handsome . (No whip was used though). There was an old white hair sect¡¯s monk who was also made to sit on ice for the unholy act of bringing with him two¡¯ too young for him¡¯ Tagalog speaking female guests. All offenders who were put on ice were forced to drink a urine like spirit to make them intoxicated after a religious hymn were sang on them. The circle ceremony ended with a song called Geylang. Before that those followers who were born in the same month
celebrate their birthday with a song and blowing candles planted on an excretion liked cake. What an unusual ritual indeed.
The ceremony did not end there; the sect¡¯s followers later proceeded in their ancient vehicles to a restaurant at Pelangi Indah nearby to enjoy a feast thrown by the hares to celebrate the successful completion of their paper chasing ritual early on. 3 bottles of the same spirit called Carlsberg were provide f.o.c. per table for the followers to get intoxicated which however were not enough, so they continue to buy from their own pockets to get into the
¡®High¡¯ feel they needed badly. Food served was not bad by any earthling standard. Both the Hares were sporting
enough to toast at almost all the tables, six tables in total. According to some, normally without their follower, Sex Can presents the songs Chai Chai Heng shouldn¡¯t be heard so often that night.
Finally the feast ended with many intoxicated followers left thanking the General and the Keeper for the free food and beers and later testing their driving skill on their ancient vehicles.
Nanu-Nanu, Short Cock & Disco Singh signing of for now and on our way in our flying saucer to my next assignment at a remote place called Pulai Jaya, also on this planet earth.

Johor Bahru Hash Chapters

JB HHH - Wednesday – Mixed ; 6.00pm (Founded : January 1967) by A. Lammers.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM10-00 Contacts: Ice Cream Tel : 019-7711556.



TANJUNG PETRI HHH – Monday – Men ; 6.00pm (Founded : 9-11-1979)Beer : TIGER GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: Jaya Botak Tel : 019-7705007.



GUNUNG PULAI HHH – Tuesday – Men ; 6.00pm (Founded : 8-12-1998) by Koh Teng Chu.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: OKC GM Tel : 016-7120355.



JB HASH HOUSE HAZARDS – Thursday – Men; 6.00pm (Founded : 11-4-1996) by Simon Chan.Beer : TIGER GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: Lim Seng Bok Tel : 019-778 5577



KULAI HHH – Friday – Mixed ; 6.00pm (Founded : 2-3-1978) by Lam Chon Fa.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM10-00 Contact: Ikan Bilis +6019 778 9925.



KOJAK HASH - Run every 2nd Friday of the month Mixed :5.30pm (Founded : 14th Aug 2009)By Moh Man Tai . RM 20.Contact : Moh Man Tai Tel : 012-7103306



JCSC HHH - Run every last Friday of the month – Mixed ; 6.00pm (Founded : 28-12-2007) .Beer : Tiger. GUEST FEE: RM20-00 Contacts: Bernard Tel : 016-7233330.



JB BICYCLE HASH - Friday -Mixed .5.30pm.Founded GM Lee Fook Heng ,Contact : Mongol Yap Tel : +6016 723 1331.



JB CITY HASH – Saturday – Mixed ; 5.30pm (Founded : 1-1-1994)by K.Y. Teh.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM15-00 Contacts:Disco Singh Tel : 012-700 2868



KOTA TINGGI HHH – Sunday - Mixed ; 5.30pm (Founded on 31-12-1990) by James Ooi.Beer : CARLSBERG GUEST FEE: RM10-00 Contacts: KCB Tel : 019-770 4676.



SKUDAI HHH - Sunday- Mixed : 5:45pm. Guest Free : RM 10 .Contact : Double V 013-7754382.

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